Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The cheat

This is the second part of a two-piece article. Read the first part here

He knew she would not understand. Or maybe he was wrong after all. He wished to help, but alas. He had never imagined things to get so serious from that casual online chat. He had pinged her thinking she was just one of those girls , too occupied with her own sense of the world. But she was a breath of fresh air in that crapped life of his. Her beliefs, her ways seemed to be tailor-made to suit him. He still remembered being shocked when he heard her use expletives for the first time. She didn’t even talk like the other girls. She simply had no apprehensions. Time flew by, and as they got to know each other better, their desire to get closer grew stronger. It came naturally to him. Just out of a long-term relation, he badly needed someone who could listen to him, and share his heartbreak- she seemed to love doing that. They took to each other like the proverbial fish to water. The chat progressed to SMSes and then to calls in no time, he loved his sleep but she loved talking late into the night and on most days now he slept while still on the phone. Life was amazing. She understood him so well, and things could not be any better. But then, life seldom stagnates, and since it could not get better, there was only one way to go: it got worse.
Before they could realize, they had moved from dear to sweetie and then on to sweetheart…and there was no stopping beyond that. They were both clear that they didn’t want to get into any kind of commitment, a relation was out of question but yet he had made her feel so special. Every time he said something, he looked at her in a way as if to say that it had a second hidden meaning just for her to find out. To him, it was an awesome game they were playing, and the fact that it was hidden from all, made it all the more exciting. He didn’t even realize when the games got serious.
He understood that it was no game that day in the theater.  They had gone out, their gang of friends, and she was sitting next to him. He started playing with her fingers, and soon realized that she was looking at him, her stare burning into him. They looked at each other- and only the fidgeting of the guy next to him saved the moment from being burnt by that fire. That look haunted him. He could feel it that she wanted him. But he was just a fleeting moment in her life. He could not stay with her, come what may- he was already pledged. And she was a trespasser on to him.
The moment came. They were in the library that day browsing through the day’s papers when she suggested they go for a coffee. Sitting with their cups in the lonely corner what began as casual flirting soon moved into uncharted territory as her hands moved on his body and his touch was lost on her. Those few minutes, he could think of nothing else- all seemed right, and only she seemed to exist. The fingers entwined as their eyes held each other and he was burning inside as lust took over. Guilt followed the passion as soon as he was spent and he knew he had erred again. His past came haunting as he stared blankly into her eyes and he could muster just one line- “I am sorry. I have to leave.”

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