Thursday, October 25, 2012

A Friend's Betrayal

The pain caused him to take a step back as he reeled from the impact. Kunal was a strong guy and much bigger than him, but more than the strength it was the shock that had his head reeling. He now stood face to face with the one person who had been with him when he was alone and he knew it in his heart that he could not hit him back.
He still remembered his first day in college. Coming from a small place like his, Mumbai was a big place and it was but natural to feel out of sorts. And to it there was the usual seniors and the ragging stuff. He was sitting in a corner in the class when Kunal had come with his gang of guys and introduced himself. They had come to size up the ‘villager’ but a few jokes later he could feel a bond building between them and soon enough he himself was a part of that group.
Time flew by as they indulged in the usual stuff that college-goers indulge in. There were those long night outs with booze and dope and ogling. A lot of ogling, in fact. None of them had ever been in a relationship and it was as if that gave them the right to ogle and remark at every dame that touched their fancy. Time was flying by when Roshni happened. He had no idea how and when Kunal had met her when one fine day he introduced her to the group as his girl. After that, Roshni often hung out with their gang and while they had to reform some of their habits because of her presence, she nevertheless was a welcome addition to their group.
He was sleeping that night when Roshni called him. She was crying and could barely talk. As he tried to pacify her he learnt that she had yet another fight with Kunal and that he had told her never to talk to him again. He remembered Kunal once saying: “If there is one person in my life I can’t let go, it’s her”. He cared for Kunal and could not see them drifting apart. He tried to console her and put her to sleep and determined to make Kunal see sense the next morning.  However, Kunal was nowhere to be seen. He had not come to the college and his phone was out of reach. It had been a fortnight since anyone had heard anything from him and Roshni called him almost every day in the meanwhile. He found himself getting more and more attracted to the softness in her but a part of him told him how wrong he was. He was not one to hit on his best friend’s girl.
And then that day happened. He came to college that day to find Kunal waiting for him at the gate. He looked stoned and as he went ahead to hug him, he could not even dream that he would be greeted with a slap.
As the thoughts flashed by his mind, Kunal charged at him again and before he knew, he was on the ground- kicked at by his best friend. Soon enough a crowd gathered and he could see Roshni pulling Kunal back. He was hurt. His body was tortured, but his heart blamed him- a part of him said he had done it to himself, letting himself get carried away and yet another part saw no wrong. He had helped Roshni to keep faith in Kunal when he wasn’t there. He felt like a friend and a traitor at the same time. He blamed himself for losing a friend while a part of him rejoiced at the arms holding him up. He knew it was cruel, but he could not help it when he asked her, his eyes straining to see how he reacts, –“Let’s go away, this guy doesn’t deserve us.”

Monday, September 24, 2012

What Barfi! taught me

  • Find the silver lining: Life’s a bitch and it will always throw you into unwarranted, undeserved situations and undeserved misery. But as they say, look at it closely and far away in a hidden corner, you might just find the one silver lining, the one good thing that has the power to make the bitch dance to your tunes.

  • It’s okay to be rejected, but don’t give up on love, not just yet…  We have all heard that it’s not the gravity but love that makes the world go round. But do we really believe that? Even if we do, do we actually maintain that? All it takes is one case of broken trust, one single mistake in judgement and our faith on all of humanity is shaken. Let’s just stop and think- do we give up education because of one bad exam? Then why doesn’t life deserve a second chance?
  • The world is big and bad…but that doesn’t mean you have to be bad too: Life is hard and people are not always good. Someone or the other will always try to push you down, to throw you onto the ground but for every person like that, there will also be someone to pick you up, to tell you that you indeed are good enough and all you need to do is trust. Trust is the most potent strategy for winning over people. Look around yourself, the world is beautiful!
  • Know what you want before you lose that: So often we give up on someone as being not good enough. But what defines ‘good enough’? Does it even exist or do most of us run just for the sake of it- in the pursuit of a blind chase? Being judgmental is perhaps the easiest thing to do when one has the choice. But sometimes we need to look at relationships as investment and not as trading and you stick to your investment in rough times because you trust the returns in the long term.
  • And the last- the one golden rule of success- SMILE. Upward curving lips and tinkling eyes catch everyone’s attention. Let those lips show off your joy and see the world around reflect it back to you.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

The cheat

This is the second part of a two-piece article. Read the first part here

He knew she would not understand. Or maybe he was wrong after all. He wished to help, but alas. He had never imagined things to get so serious from that casual online chat. He had pinged her thinking she was just one of those girls , too occupied with her own sense of the world. But she was a breath of fresh air in that crapped life of his. Her beliefs, her ways seemed to be tailor-made to suit him. He still remembered being shocked when he heard her use expletives for the first time. She didn’t even talk like the other girls. She simply had no apprehensions. Time flew by, and as they got to know each other better, their desire to get closer grew stronger. It came naturally to him. Just out of a long-term relation, he badly needed someone who could listen to him, and share his heartbreak- she seemed to love doing that. They took to each other like the proverbial fish to water. The chat progressed to SMSes and then to calls in no time, he loved his sleep but she loved talking late into the night and on most days now he slept while still on the phone. Life was amazing. She understood him so well, and things could not be any better. But then, life seldom stagnates, and since it could not get better, there was only one way to go: it got worse.
Before they could realize, they had moved from dear to sweetie and then on to sweetheart…and there was no stopping beyond that. They were both clear that they didn’t want to get into any kind of commitment, a relation was out of question but yet he had made her feel so special. Every time he said something, he looked at her in a way as if to say that it had a second hidden meaning just for her to find out. To him, it was an awesome game they were playing, and the fact that it was hidden from all, made it all the more exciting. He didn’t even realize when the games got serious.
He understood that it was no game that day in the theater.  They had gone out, their gang of friends, and she was sitting next to him. He started playing with her fingers, and soon realized that she was looking at him, her stare burning into him. They looked at each other- and only the fidgeting of the guy next to him saved the moment from being burnt by that fire. That look haunted him. He could feel it that she wanted him. But he was just a fleeting moment in her life. He could not stay with her, come what may- he was already pledged. And she was a trespasser on to him.
The moment came. They were in the library that day browsing through the day’s papers when she suggested they go for a coffee. Sitting with their cups in the lonely corner what began as casual flirting soon moved into uncharted territory as her hands moved on his body and his touch was lost on her. Those few minutes, he could think of nothing else- all seemed right, and only she seemed to exist. The fingers entwined as their eyes held each other and he was burning inside as lust took over. Guilt followed the passion as soon as he was spent and he knew he had erred again. His past came haunting as he stared blankly into her eyes and he could muster just one line- “I am sorry. I have to leave.”