Understanding the pretty Venusians has been a challenge to us men ever since the time of Adam. And the rule of nature is such that the difficulty level of this challenge only increases with experience. Most guys can never figure out which seemingly innocent word of theirs pissed off that pretty damsel.The problem in most cases is miscommunication. Women talk and behave in a way totally alien to men and these differences, naturally, create confusions. So for the guys, here are some tips that I have personally found to be very handy to understand, or at least try to understand, the softer sex. For the girls, please point out if I am wrong, so that I don’t have to find it out the harder way...;-)
- Listen to her: Women have a very basic need: they need to be heard. Men often call women chatterboxes, and they are not entirely wrong. But girl-talk is not only gossip. Women love someone who can hear out their emotions, their feelings, their concerns. The problem faced by most guys is that once started, the flow of words seems to be never-ending. But a little bit of patience here can go a long way towards building confidence in her heart about you. Always remember-The easiest way to get close to a girl’s heart is to just listen and let her do the talking.
- Don’t offer solutions: When men share their problems, it’s because they expect some help from the person they share it with. On the other hand, when women share their problems, they do it to just lighten up the burden in their hearts. But due to their natural tendency, men tend to offer solutions the first thing on hearing about a problem. So next time, when she shares her issues, just keep shut and listen. You don’t need to offer her your help unless she asks for it. You just need to be with her, and she will be happy.
- Understand her words: This is the most complicated part. When men speak, they just say what they want. In other words, men mean what they say. But Women don’t, most of the time. Emotions are very important to a woman, so try and figure out what she is saying from her point of view. When she says that you have time only for your friends, maybe all she means is that “ I miss you when you are away, please be with me for some more time.” So think beofre you start defending yourself.
- Care, Share, Nurture: Like every man is a problem-solver at heart, every woman at heart is a mother. They love to care for their close ones. So while missing a meal or riding your bike a bit rashly might be no big deal for you, it gets her seriously worried. More so if you are very special to her. Men take it as an attack on their freedom, and get defensive at the very mention of their habits. But trying to address the concerns helps here. Or maybe if you feel its too demanding on you, just shield her from the facts. In fact, men should not share everythng with their girl, because a lot of things that we guys have fun doing, can give the women a lot of undue stress.
- The wave theory: Now, this is a purely psychological point. Women’s emotions are like waves. They always have periodic crests and troughs. At the peak of the crest, she would be the most caring, loving, understanding person on earth, but every crest is always followed by a trough. It is a time when she hits an emotional low. Then she needs to be reassured that you love her. When a girl is low, the best thing a man can do is to just be with her. Don’t make her feel bad about being upset. Just share with her the stories of all those sweet moments you have had together. Let her feel how special she is to you. Give her some time, but NEVER leave her alone. Make her believe that it’s okay if she shares her negative moods with you. Comfort her, don’t criticize and she will be back to being the loving person she always was.