Sunday, April 24, 2011

Stress interview @ the Roadies' B-school

This is a fictitious scenario of the potentially explosive situation that can happen in case MBA interviews are handled by the Roadies judges. We have our candidate, the Future Manager (FM). FM has got a decent score in the entrance test and is quite confident of making the cut for his dream b-school. He goes  to the venue and is called for the interview, where he finds  the three panelists: P1(Raghu), P2(Rajiv), P3(Rannvijay).
FM: May I come in sir?
P1: (rudely) Ab kya card deke bulaein tereko!
FM: Sorry sir.
P3: To tum ho kahanse?
FM: sir, Kolkata.
P2: Kolkata me kya karte ho?
FM: I am doing my graduation from XYZ college.
P1: Girlfriend hai?
FM: No sir.
P1: Tu kitna bada loser hai…saale, ladkiyan tereko bhaao deti nai, aur tu agaya hai manager banne…shakal dekhi hai apni kabhi!!!
FM: …………………………..
P3: Are you gay?
FM: (confused) No sir.
P2: To ladkiyan kyun nai aati tere paas??
FM: (Fumbling for words) Sir, ours is a boys’ college.
P3: So this is the excuse you have for not having a girlfriend! Don’t you have parks and lovers’ spots at Kolkata?
FM: (not knowing what to say) Sir, I am scared of approaching girls.
P2: KYA!!!  You are scared!!! And u wanna be a MBA…abbey fattu kahinke…!!!!! Saale you are not fit enough to be even the peon of this college.
FM:  ( silent, thinking this is a  stress interview ;) )
P1: okay…chal bata…why do you want to do a MBA?
FM: sir, I have a natural aptitude for solving problems and leading people. So I want to be a manager to give something back to the society.
P1: Give something back…..!!!!  What can you give back? Can you give back the amount of resources the society has wasted in bringing up a boorish good-for-nothing rascal like you!!!
FM: I would like to contribute in my own way.
P2: What the f**k is your way? Going around wearing a tie and trying to impress fools?
FM: (thinking: ohhh god!!! Whose face did I see in the morning!) I might do some social work like…
P1: (interrupting) social work!!! You rascal, you are here to interview for a b-school which will give you a placement of 10lacs when you pass out and you want us to believe that you are not running after money and you want to do social work…!!! You think we are stupid?
FM: no sir, I actually might do some social service in my spare time.
P3: I completely believe him…the fattu that he is, he might be scared of girls even after becoming a manager.
P2: I second you.. , (to our FM) I have a great option for you… stop chasing a MBA, and become gay, because I guarantee that you are such a loser that you are not gonna have any girls ever in your life.
FM: (scratching his head, can’t believe it’s happening to him…)
P1: he actually believes that doing a MBA will make the chicks run after him, a typical chauvinist.
FM: (now out of his wits) sir, what is my fault?
P1: how dare you question us? U f**king b******d, you are such a bloody a*****e that you don’t even realize your mistakes. How can we even expect you to correct them!
P2: (to P1) He thinks he is the super-cool guy who can have everything, a fat paycheck and a hot girlfriend. He actually wants  everyone around to envy him.
FM: (trying hard to be heard) I never said any such thing sir…
P3: So now you say we are lying. You think you are very smart!
P2: I think he is a complete waste of our time..
P1: u may leave..
FM: but sirrr…
P1: The interview is over. I asked you to f**k off.
FM: my testimonials are with you sir…
P2: (rising up and grabbing FM’s collar) You accuse us of stealing your bulls**t of a file!!
FM: no…
P1: (throwing the file at FM’s face) You are a f**king rascal. Now get out of this room and agey kabhi nazar naa aaiyo!!
FM: (before leaving, confused whether to say ‘thank you’ or not!!)
P2: Abbey jata hai ya dhakke maar kar nikalein!!
FM: (mutters a quick thank you, and rushes out to save his a**).


  1. And does he get selected afterwards ?? ;)

  2. @anonymous: results awaited.... :P

  3. Dude not a very good write up.... Your selection of words r very improper and top of that ur style of writing is cliched.....Hope to see some novelty in future... best of luck for ur future posts....

    Nawab Saab


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