A Friend's Betrayal

The pain caused him to take a step back as he reeled from the impact. Kunal was a strong guy and much bigger than him, but more than the strength it was the shock that had his head reeling. He now stood face to face with the one person who had been with him when he was alone and he knew it in his heart that he could not hit him back.

He still remembered his first day in college. Coming from a small place like his, Mumbai was a big place and it was but natural to feel out of sorts. And to it there was the usual seniors and the ragging stuff. He was sitting in a corner in the class when Kunal had come with his gang of guys and introduced himself. They had come to size up the ‘villager’ but a few jokes later he could feel a bond building between them and soon enough he himself was a part of that group.

Time flew by as they indulged in the usual stuff that college-goers indulge in. There were those long night outs with booze and dope and ogling. A lot of ogling, in fact. None of them had ever been in a relationship and it was as if that gave them the right to ogle and remark at every dame that touched their fancy. Time was flying by when Roshni happened. He had no idea how and when Kunal had met her when one fine day he introduced her to the group as his girl. After that, Roshni often hung out with their gang and while they had to reform some of their habits because of her presence, she nevertheless was a welcome addition to their group.

He was sleeping that night when Roshni called him. She was crying and could barely talk. As he tried to pacify her he learnt that she had yet another fight with Kunal and that he had told her never to talk to him again. He remembered Kunal once saying: “If there is one person in my life I can’t let go, it’s her”. He cared for Kunal and could not see them drifting apart. He tried to console her and put her to sleep and determined to make Kunal see sense the next morning.  However, Kunal was nowhere to be seen. He had not come to the college and his phone was out of reach. It had been a fortnight since anyone had heard anything from him and Roshni called him almost every day in the meanwhile. He found himself getting more and more attracted to the softness in her but a part of him told him how wrong he was. He was not one to hit on his best friend’s girl.

And then that day happened. He came to college that day to find Kunal waiting for him at the gate. He looked stoned and as he went ahead to hug him, he could not even dream that he would be greeted with a slap.

As the thoughts flashed by his mind, Kunal charged at him again and before he knew, he was on the ground- kicked at by his best friend. Soon enough a crowd gathered and he could see Roshni pulling Kunal back. He was hurt. His body was tortured, but his heart blamed him- a part of him said he had done it to himself, letting himself get carried away and yet another part saw no wrong. He had helped Roshni to keep faith in Kunal when he wasn’t there. He felt like a friend and a traitor at the same time. He blamed himself for losing a friend while a part of him rejoiced at the arms holding him up. He knew it was cruel, but he could not help it when he asked her, his eyes straining to see how he reacts, –“Let’s go away, this guy doesn’t deserve us.”

The cheat

This is the second part of a two-piece article. Read the first part here

He knew she would not understand. Or maybe he was wrong after all. He wished to help, but alas. He had never imagined things to get so serious from that casual online chat. He had pinged her thinking she was just one of those girls , too occupied with her own sense of the world. But she was a breath of fresh air in that crapped life of his. Her beliefs, her ways seemed to be tailor-made to suit him. He still remembered being shocked when he heard her use expletives for the first time. She didn’t even talk like the other girls. She simply had no apprehensions. Time flew by, and as they got to know each other better, their desire to get closer grew stronger. It came naturally to him. Just out of a long-term relation, he badly needed someone who could listen to him, and share his heartbreak- she seemed to love doing that. They took to each other like the proverbial fish to water. The chat progressed to SMSes and then to calls in no time, he loved his sleep but she loved talking late into the night and on most days now he slept while still on the phone. Life was amazing. She understood him so well, and things could not be any better. But then, life seldom stagnates, and since it could not get better, there was only one way to go: it got worse.

 
Before they could realize, they had moved from dear to sweetie and then on to sweetheart…and there was no stopping beyond that. They were both clear that they didn’t want to get into any kind of commitment, a relation was out of question but yet he had made her feel so special. Every time he said something, he looked at her in a way as if to say that it had a second hidden meaning just for her to find out. To him, it was an awesome game they were playing, and the fact that it was hidden from all, made it all the more exciting. He didn’t even realize when the games got serious.

He understood that it was no game that day in the theater.  They had gone out, their gang of friends, and she was sitting next to him. He started playing with her fingers, and soon realized that she was looking at him, her stare burning into him. They looked at each other- and only the fidgeting of the guy next to him saved the moment from being burnt by that fire. That look haunted him. He could feel it that she wanted him. But he was just a fleeting moment in her life. He could not stay with her, come what may- he was already pledged. And she was a trespasser on to him.

The moment came. They were in the library that day browsing through the day’s papers when she suggested they go for a coffee. Sitting with their cups in the lonely corner what began as casual flirting soon moved into uncharted territory as her hands moved on his body and his touch was lost on her. Those few minutes, he could think of nothing else- all seemed right, and only she seemed to exist. The fingers entwined as their eyes held each other and he was burning inside as lust took over. Guilt followed the passion as soon as he was spent and he knew he had erred again. His past came haunting as he stared blankly into her eyes and he could muster just one line- “I am sorry. I have to leave.”

Victory

He let out a big grunt as they both climaxed together, in each other arms. He was now looking into her eyes as if trying to figure out his reflection in them as his hold loosened on her. She could feel the movements of his chest against her body and her own body moving in sync with him. It was as if their union had also made their hearts constrict in unison. He kissed her once more before dozing off but sleep was nowhere in her mind. She wanted to think but she knew not what. There was nothing left to think about actually. It was a very conscious decision on her part and she had known exactly what she wanted. Deep in a corner she felt guilty about betraying Sahil, but that guilt had been overtaken by a desire for happiness. All through her life she had chased happiness and just as she thought she had found it, she had to start all over again. Being with him had made her feel that all problems she had faced were over now, but she had forgotten about her family back home. They had chosen a groom for her and there was no way they would give in. She could fight them all, but it was her maa being on their side that broke her down. If maa too feels that I am wrong, then I have no reason to fight- she had reasoned with herself. Her mom had been through many hardships for her sake, and the least her daughter could do to repay her was marry into her choice. The path was very clear to her the day maa had told her about Sahil. She would agree to whatever maa said, but not before she had had HER man. She knew he wouldn’t agree, he adored her too much for that but she also knew how to get him around. She had hidden all facts about her impending marriage and invited him home for dinner. He never suspected anything, and she had it all planned. So while he thought it was all coincidence, she had taken care of everything to make sure it was perfect. Right from the cushions to the sheets, she had planned them all. This was to be her honeymoon night and she knew she would have no second chance. And now as she looked at him, she couldn’t help noticing how innocent he looked in sleep. She at once felt sorry for misusing his trust and an immense satisfaction because she had finally got what she wanted. Maybe never again, but this little victory over life would stay with her forever.

Shattered...and alone

He cried. Cried and thought. But thoughts were hard to come by. He didn’t know what was happening. Was he shocked? Or was he sad? Was he angry…or something else…he had no idea what he felt. He remembered one of his female friends once told him ‘Its heart wrenching to see a man crying.’ He so wished it was true. That somehow she would see his tears, that somehow his pain could wrench something inside her- he was ready for anything she would do- her mood swings, her speech barbs, he was even willing to be her toy all his life, if only…if only she gave him a chance. If not a chance, then at least give him his mistakes. He felt he at least deserved an explanation- a reason at least. She had occupied his days and nights for the last three years, coming to him as the sun comes to the earth and in doing so she had shown him an all new life. He was the night sky, and she became his moon. His saving grace, his complement.

He couldn’t believe it still. Somewhere his mind said that the mists would clear and things would be as perfect as they were. How could they not be with his angel beside him? But then, he needed the angel for perfecion. And the angel was not ‘his’ anymore. It was a simple phone conversation and when she said “we need to talk” he at first believed it was a prank but she sounded serious, dead serious. Only now he knew that whether it was a prank or not was something nobody would ever know. His angel was gone. Forever.

The dumbo's guide to understanding a woman

Understanding the pretty Venusians has been a challenge to us men ever since the time of Adam. And the rule of nature is such that the difficulty level of this challenge only increases with experience. Most guys can never figure out which seemingly innocent word of theirs pissed off that pretty damsel.The problem in most cases is miscommunication. Women talk and behave in a way totally alien to men and these differences, naturally, create confusions. So for the guys, here are some tips that I have personally found to be very handy to understand, or at least try to understand, the softer sex. For the girls, please point out if I am wrong, so that I don’t have to find it out the harder way...;-)

• Listen to her:  Women have a very basic need: they need to be heard. Men often call women chatterboxes, and they are not entirely wrong. But girl-talk is not only gossip. Women love someone who  can hear out their emotions, their feelings, their concerns. The problem faced by most guys is that once started, the flow of words seems to be never-ending. But a little bit of patience here can go a long way towards building confidence in her heart about you. Always remember-The easiest way to get close to a girl’s heart is to just listen and let her do the talking.

•  Don’t offer solutions:  When men share their problems, it’s because they expect some help from the person they share it with.  On the other hand, when women share their problems, they do it to just lighten up the burden in their hearts. But due to their natural tendency,  men tend to offer solutions the first thing on hearing about a problem. So next time, when she shares her issues, just keep shut and listen. You don’t need to offer her your help unless she asks for it. You just need to be with her, and she will be happy.

• Understand her words: This is the most complicated part. When men speak, they just say what they want. In other words, men mean what they say. But Women don’t, most of the time.  Emotions are very important to a woman, so try and figure out what she is saying from her point of view. When she says that you have time only for your friends, maybe all she means is that “ I miss you when you are away, please be with me for some more time.” So think beofre you start defending yourself.

• Care, Share, Nurture:  Like every man is a problem-solver at heart, every woman at heart is a mother. They love to care for their close ones. So while missing a meal or riding your bike a bit rashly might be no big deal for you, it gets her seriously worried. More so if you are very special to her. Men take it as an attack on their freedom, and get defensive at the very mention of their habits. But trying to address the concerns helps here. Or maybe if you feel its too demanding on you, just shield her from the facts. In fact, men should not share everythng with their girl, because a lot of things that we guys have fun doing, can give the women a lot of undue stress.

• The wave theory: Now, this is a purely psychological point. Women’s emotions are like waves. They always have periodic crests and troughs. At the peak of the crest, she would be the most caring, loving, understanding person on earth,  but every crest is always followed by a trough. It is a time when she hits an emotional low. Then she needs to be reassured that you love her. When a girl is low, the best thing a man can do is to just be with her. Don’t make her feel bad about being upset. Just share with her the stories of all those sweet moments you have had together. Let her feel how special she is to you. Give her some time, but NEVER leave her alone. Make her believe that it’s okay if she shares her negative moods with you. Comfort her, don’t criticize and she will be back to being the loving person she always was.