Flooring a man- The dumbo way

Its been known to be a fact since eternity that no one can read a women’s mind. Quite true. On the other hand, men have almost always been equated with straight lines. But the human mind is equally complex for both the sexes, and while women may well be the more complicated sex, men do have theirr share of mysteries. So lets unearth a few of them here.

• Let him think: It is a fact which every girl knows, but very few realize. Just like women need to talk, men need to think. They need time for reflection, they need to have time when they can be free of any concerns and beyond all care. In this time men hate to talk or being talked to. And women naturally feel uncared for and isolated at these times. They think him to be upset at something, and they try to solve it the way they know: by talking about it. They keep trying to find a problem when there actually is none. And the result: the man feels untrusted, criticized and goes further into his cave.

• Leave him alone: When the Venusians have problems, they need someone to talk to about that. On the contrary, the Martians take pride in being problem solvers. Whenever a man has any issues, he would always try solve them by himself rather than ask for advice. So women, if you find a guy all stressed about something, please don’t offer him your help the first thing. There is nothing that pisses him more. Its better to tell him that you trust him to work out the best solution possible, and keep your faith in him. Offer solutions ONLY when he asks for them.

• Get touchy feely: Women always equate affection with emotion. But men need to feel wanted. For men, touching is a way of showing that they care. And there is no bigger turn on for a man than to feel desired and craved for.  If he is special enough for you to be "The One" among millions, let him know that. Tell him how awesome he is. And get close to him. Let him know that you feel special when he holds you, and cut him some slack. Don’t make him feel bad if he wants to get close to you- if you don’t want that, stop him in a loving way. Don’t make him feel unwanted. Don’t ever make him feel guilty for desiring you.

• He needs your trust, not advice: The venusians find it okay to ask for help when they need it, but for the martians, asking for help equals to accepting their incompetence. So when a guy is stuck at something, its okay to let him work it out himself. You don’t really need to be his babysitter all the time. Just let him know that you have total faith in his abilities that he will work out things. He will really appreciate that.

• Appreciate him: This is one of the most important ways of making a man feel good. Nature created women as nurturers and men as providers, and a man will go to any length to provide for people who depend on him. It makes him feel worthy. So the next time he wakes up on time, or does a little household chore, or opens the door for you, or simply remembers “not to forget” what you asked him to do, appreciate him for that. Nothing makes a man happier than being said that he is the good responsible guy. Treat him like a treasure, and he will treaure you forever.

• The “Rubber Band”: Just like emotions follow a wave pattern at Venus, the Martians' emotions tend to be like rubber bands. Everytime a man gets close to a woman emotionally, he will, without fail, pull back after some time. He may become reclusive and silent, or simply drift away. But women need to avoid pressing the panic button when this happens. They need to remember that the further they let him pull away, the more would be the force when he jumps back. When a guy pulls away, its best to just leave him alone and wait for him to come back. This might be tough for a woman, but trust him to make it totally worth it the wait when he is back.

These are some bits that I would like to have from someone who loves me. Guys please put in your comments if I have missed out on something. And gals…just comment what you think… :-)

The dumbo's guide to understanding a woman

Understanding the pretty Venusians has been a challenge to us men ever since the time of Adam. And the rule of nature is such that the difficulty level of this challenge only increases with experience. Most guys can never figure out which seemingly innocent word of theirs pissed off that pretty damsel.The problem in most cases is miscommunication. Women talk and behave in a way totally alien to men and these differences, naturally, create confusions. So for the guys, here are some tips that I have personally found to be very handy to understand, or at least try to understand, the softer sex. For the girls, please point out if I am wrong, so that I don’t have to find it out the harder way...;-)

• Listen to her:  Women have a very basic need: they need to be heard. Men often call women chatterboxes, and they are not entirely wrong. But girl-talk is not only gossip. Women love someone who  can hear out their emotions, their feelings, their concerns. The problem faced by most guys is that once started, the flow of words seems to be never-ending. But a little bit of patience here can go a long way towards building confidence in her heart about you. Always remember-The easiest way to get close to a girl’s heart is to just listen and let her do the talking.

•  Don’t offer solutions:  When men share their problems, it’s because they expect some help from the person they share it with.  On the other hand, when women share their problems, they do it to just lighten up the burden in their hearts. But due to their natural tendency,  men tend to offer solutions the first thing on hearing about a problem. So next time, when she shares her issues, just keep shut and listen. You don’t need to offer her your help unless she asks for it. You just need to be with her, and she will be happy.

• Understand her words: This is the most complicated part. When men speak, they just say what they want. In other words, men mean what they say. But Women don’t, most of the time.  Emotions are very important to a woman, so try and figure out what she is saying from her point of view. When she says that you have time only for your friends, maybe all she means is that “ I miss you when you are away, please be with me for some more time.” So think beofre you start defending yourself.

• Care, Share, Nurture:  Like every man is a problem-solver at heart, every woman at heart is a mother. They love to care for their close ones. So while missing a meal or riding your bike a bit rashly might be no big deal for you, it gets her seriously worried. More so if you are very special to her. Men take it as an attack on their freedom, and get defensive at the very mention of their habits. But trying to address the concerns helps here. Or maybe if you feel its too demanding on you, just shield her from the facts. In fact, men should not share everythng with their girl, because a lot of things that we guys have fun doing, can give the women a lot of undue stress.

• The wave theory: Now, this is a purely psychological point. Women’s emotions are like waves. They always have periodic crests and troughs. At the peak of the crest, she would be the most caring, loving, understanding person on earth,  but every crest is always followed by a trough. It is a time when she hits an emotional low. Then she needs to be reassured that you love her. When a girl is low, the best thing a man can do is to just be with her. Don’t make her feel bad about being upset. Just share with her the stories of all those sweet moments you have had together. Let her feel how special she is to you. Give her some time, but NEVER leave her alone. Make her believe that it’s okay if she shares her negative moods with you. Comfort her, don’t criticize and she will be back to being the loving person she always was.